


Take Me Home

by dhyanshiva



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Deleted Scenes, Homophobia, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23246953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhyanshiva/pseuds/dhyanshiva
Summary: This is their fight. One they'll engage in because everything was at stake. Their lives, their love, their home.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 37





	Take Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is a product of my love and gratitude for the wonderful experience that SMZS has been.  
> I listened to Jess Glynne's 'Take Me Home' and Aurora's 'Runaway' in the process.
> 
> I hope you like it and do leave a comment and/or kudos below!

At the word “bimaari” uttered from his other parent with such conviction, his mind went blank. The disappointment wasn’t as hard hitting as it had been the other night – he’d come to expect it this time. Aman swore his heart stopped for several beats when he saw his father, his father, stride out armed with that rod. His mind refused to compute what was happening. He broke out in a sprint, trying to stop Shankar from harming Kartik more than he already had. He was pushed aside, hitting the ground, hard. With grazed palms, a thudding heart and ears ringing, he rose. He was too late though – the first blow had landed. Aman leapt forward, struggling against Keshav and Chaman. With each hit, Kartik’s cries became louder and more anguished till Aman simply couldn’t take it. He broke free and ran towards the stairs. His boyfriend was right, in the end – Aman just couldn’t watch him taking this pain, it was well beyond his capacity.  
Slamming the door behind him, he collapsed with his back against it, tailbone digging into the stop. Burying his head in his hands, fingers pulling at his hair. Why? Why couldn’t he stand up to his parents, give it back worse than they’d gotten? Deep down, he knew this question was answered already. It had been like this since he was a child, an unspoken agreement. Somewhere, the line between love and control had blurred, and his parents especially, had come to see Aman as theirs alone, not his own person. They’d directed every act of his life, given him a script to follow. He’d learnt all of their cues, knew what they expected.

Then, with his shift to Delhi came the gift of the unknown, the unplanned. A new life, where he could finally unveil the parts of him that he was too scared to face back in Allahabad. Kartik Singh too, was someone who didn’t fit the ‘requirements’, not in the least. Yet it was with him alone that Aman felt understood, for the first time. Their friendship had rapidly become one to cherish and it was on this unbreakable foundation that their relationship had blossomed and flourished. Smiling despite the tears, Aman felt warmth flood through him as he remembered how safe and loved he felt when he was Kartik. After a long, often frustrating day at work, coming home was always something to look forward to. A warm bear hug from Kartik made everything feel alright. Like he could take on the world. The regret and guilt wouldn’t leave Aman no matter how much he tried to console himself and it was amidst this storm of thoughts that he eventually fell asleep, defeated.  
\---  
Kartik stuck his head under the tap, allowing the cold water to shock him into staying awake for a few seconds longer – he would not go down without getting in the last word. Turning back around to face Aman’s family, he delivered the verdict – quite accurately too – and let himself fall forward, exhausted. He had been beaten unconscious and in that period of unsolicited rest, Kartik had been forced to confront the trauma he’d buried deep within him. A childhood he thought was erased, forgotten entirely – clearly not. Kartik had been sure he’d be able to take whatever Shankar had to throw at him. He was doing this for himself, for Aman and their relationship. He’d stood tall, trying to seem fearless though the sight of the rod had succeeded in cracking the barrier he’d kept erected for so long. It was painstaking and sometimes, felt impossible to sustain. But he had, somehow. Now, it all seemed to amount to nothing, those years of effort. The first blow had jolted his system, elicited pain he hadn’t felt in over a decade. It started as expected. He saw a spark light up in the younger Kartik’s eyes. He saw those few beautiful, happy moments with another boy play out. Then came the downfall. Knowing what was to come, Kartik forced himself to come out of the memory, the darkest crevice of his mind. Finally succeeding, he pulled himself into being conscious and couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  
\--  
Aman was awakened by an uncomfortable feeling building somewhere inside him. Listening carefully for anyone that was still awake, he made his way out of the room and downstairs. He hated that he was still treading with caution. So what if his father saw Aman go to Kartik? What more could he possibly do now? He considered Aman dead. He was the new and flawless, pure ‘Chandravadhan’ in his eyes. Even that didn’t hurt, that swift disownment, as much as what was done to Kartik, with such little mercy. So much so that the taller man was now unconscious, the pride flag acting as a shield, bold and vibrant.

As Aman came closer, he saw his boyfriend shift slightly, perspiration forming on his forehead. Crouching next to him, he heard soft, pained whimpers of fear, asking someone to stop, to not hit him. Tears began to form in Aman’s eyes. This is what Shankar’s actions had done to a wonderful, courageous young man. Turned him, in mere moments, to a frightened little boy, scared for his life. Aman didn’t bother trying to hold back the tirade of resentment of pain that coursed through him at this thought. In this moment, with Kartik, let himself feel. He wasn’t Aman Tripathi, he wasn’t Shankar Tripathi’s son – now, here, he was just Kartik’s Aman. The past few days, this chaos, had worn them both down and this was the final straw. Once again, he broke down in tears, palm clamped over his mouth. His free hand wanted to reach out and touch Kartik but truly, he felt he’d lost the right to face him. The privilege to love him, cherish him. Suddenly, Kartik woke up and Aman’s heart shattered at the haunted, terrified look in those beautiful eyes.  
\---  
The first thing Kartik registered was that Aman was in tears. Gut wrenching cries that made his body shake. Alarmed, he sat up as quickly as he could, ignoring the pain that erupted all over his body. Reaching out, he sought to touch Aman but was alarmed when he drew away, closing in on himself. Kartik began to panic, he didn’t understand what brought this done. Suddenly, a horrific thought hit him and his worry gave way to rage. It had to be Shankar and/or Sunaina. What the hell had they done now? Wasn’t the kriyakaram enough? Trying to keep the fury out of his voice, tone low, Kartik leaned forward.

“Aman, babe, what is it? What have they done to you? Have they – they, touched you?”

Kartik’s alarm only grew when Aman’s sobs became more earnest, mingled with choked laughter. Aman didn’t understand how anyone could hurt this man. How? How were they so blind to the purity of his heart and soul? There he sat, bruises forming all over him, courtesy of Aman’s father yet his first thought wasn’t that Aman would be upset over him. This notion made the ache in his chest worsen and he gave in. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around his lover’s torso, resting his cheek against his shoulder. He tried to calm down by listening to Kartik’s heartbeat, steady and very much there. He was alive. He murmured a quiet ‘I love you’ and grew alarmed when Kartik’s body began to tremble. Pulling back, Aman shifted positions so he was crouched in front of him. Gently, he tilted his head so their eyes met.

“What’s wrong? It’s alright, you can tell me, you can.” 

Kartik reached up and untied the knot at his neck, letting the flag crumple on the makeshift bed. Looking up, he smiled, the expression so vulnerable and unguarded that Aman was taken aback. There was something that was troubling Kartik and it went back further than the events of the past few days. Once again, Kartik’s eyes became distant, as if haunted by another memory, another time altogether. Aman waited for him to refocus, knowing he needed his time. What came next completely shocked him.

“I’m sorry Aman. I shouldn’t have – have – provoked your father like that. I’ve only made matters worse for you. Now he’s coerced you into a marriage with Kusum. I never -. But you know what hurts more than this physical pain? I thought you and I had a chance, before, I truly did. At Rajni’s wedding, I’d gotten so caught up in the festivities that for a moment, I was lost. I’d forgotten that there was a world outside our little bubble. One that hated us, our love. Then it burst and now? Now, I just don’t know. Yes, I’ll admit, I thought education would have sufficed but it’s not just that. I thought the fact that they’re your PARENTS would be enough. Hell, why do we have to fight so much for this? To love, to exist? Thak chuka hoon main. Aaj tak mein sirf apne liye ladd raha tha. Ab baat tumhari zindagi ki bhi hai, hum dono ka rishta daav pe hai. I can’t risk anything more happening to you, I can’t. Aman, you –.”

With each word, Kartik was becoming more frustrated, his breaths becoming shorter, sharper. At that, he couldn’t go on, breaking down completely. Aman understood, he truly did. Especially after today, he was truly considering whether all of this, this anguish was worth it. But something was telling him that they couldn’t go home, not now. He was entirely against Kartik being pushed away, forced to leave, alone. Nor was he willing to return to Delhi married to the completely wrong person. They’d have to fight, together, as one. With the same intensity. Distance hadn’t aided them. No matter how much he’d tried to delay the inevitable, it had happened. His parents now knew about Kartik – though the method wasn’t the most ideal, what with his father passing out. But most importantly, Aman couldn’t let this beautiful ray of sunshine dim his light. No, he couldn’t let Kartik feel let down by himself – it would destroy him.

What had happened couldn’t be erased, nor would it be forgotten. But they had no other option – they had to soldier on. This time, it wouldn’t be for the elders’ approval and acceptance – slime chance, that. But it was for them, so that they could find a way out of this. Find it and leave, go home. Allahabad wasn’t home – Aman had lost much of the love and affection he’d held for this place, these four walls. All that remained was nostalgia and affection, gratitude for Rajni and Keshav. His home was Kartik now. No one would be able to take that away from them. Taking his boyfriend’s face between his hands once more, Aman leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. Swallowing, he tried to disguise the tremor in his voice. He had to be strong, for them both.

“Kartik, love, no. What’s done is done. Goodness knows you’ve done more than enough and I’m sorry it’s come to this. No. It’s not your fault, none of it is – all of this is on them. Now, we’ll fight for us. I’ll fight for us, damn it. I’ll take the wheel from here. But please, please don’t falter now. This is the last mile. Let’s reach the finish line together, yeah?”

Aman let out an inaudible sigh of relief at that glorious smile came onto Kartik’s tear streaked face. That beautiful, open smile that made everything seem possible. One that made Aman feel invincible. He stepped back as Kartik stood, barely wincing at his injuries. Overwhelmed, he pulled Aman towards him by the waist, till there wasn’t even an inch between them. The giddiness on his face, the hope that lit a spark in his eyes, making them glow. All of this made Aman forget that they’d experienced so much only hours ago. Here they were, as one. Ready to take on whatever came their way come daylight. Looping his arms around Kartik’s neck, Aman initiated a chaste, tender kiss that he hoped conveyed just how much he loved this man. Kartik was his whole world, he was more than enough. And Aman would fight for him, for them. Breaking the kiss, he hugged him again, taking comfort in his presence. A sudden wave of exhaustion hit, and they realised how late it was. Aman took Kartik’s hand and led them upstairs, where they were found later that morning, wrapped in each other’s arms, content and at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> This piece has been written in celebration of 1 month of this work of art. I sought to highlight their fighting spirit, their determination - something that is so hard to find and retain in the world we're in today.  
> I thank the entire team for all the work that went into making this gem. You've touched the lives of thousands of people, including mine. Your dedication and sincerity shines through each frame of SMZS and believe me, it's touched us all.
> 
> Thank you and lots of love,  
> Dhyan x


End file.
